" A Message to the Lost Church Member"

A Message to the Lost Church Member
By Bro. Billy Ball
Listen to the preacher and do what he says,
Just raise your hand and he'll do the rest.
Bow your head, close your eyes,
Repeat the prayer, and then bring your tithes.
In a few days, we'll dunk you too,
Come on down, we'll run you through.
Don't worry about what Bible you bring,
We don't get sidetracked with those kinds of things.
It doesn't matter what kind of clothes you wear,
It's only the inside with which our Lord doth care.
And don't be looking for the old-fashioned songs,
We're gonna rock-n-roll you all Sunday long.
Our preacher preaches love and positive things,
Not sin and the issues, we don't want to sound mean.
We don't use "Pharisees" and "legalistic" creatures,
We use the "big boys", the teachers and the double-married preachers.
So come on down and join with us,
Enjoy your life and fulfill your lust.
And if I happen to miss you when they ring the bell,
You don't have to worry, I'll see you in Hell.
Your Friend,
The Devil